Images of Personal TRANSFORMATION

Is person transformation possible or will I just kind of slide down hill from here? Is this as good as it gets? 

As the human species, are we more like the lion hunting his prey (actually her--it's the lioness that really hunts)? 

Or are we more like a bee in the bee hive, preprogrammed by nature to spend our lives buzzing around gathering food for the hive.

I find that in the morning my mind tells me that I can do anything I set out to do.  As the day progresses, circumstances and other people tell me that what I do with my day and my life is somebody else's call.  Ultimately at the end of my day I'm wondering why I even wanted control of my day anyway and how I could have thought that was even possible.

What is Personal Transformation?  Have You Seen it?  Have You Experienced it? A Personal Transformational Change is one that fundamentally alters a person's life in a manner and to an extent that causes them to experience the world in a profoundly different manner and how the world experiences him or her.   It can be physical, mental or spiritual.   It can be as concrete as becoming a master plumber or a brain surgeon.  It can be as abstract as creating a concept or idea that changes the world. Transformational change is rare, although it is possible and frequent.  It must be fundamentally a part of the person's self or it will be rejected like an unsuccessful organ transplant.

Ultimately I decide that a few people break sports records, invent things, start enterprises, and break new ground but that most of us see it on TV, read about it in textbooks, or hear about it after the fact.

The 21st Century (we're already almost 10% through it, you know) is not shaping up to be the century of the individual.  Rather than getting into a covered wagon and riding west, we get in line at the airport--haunted by 9/11--and meekly take off our shoes as a sign of group cooperation, grateful that someone is trying to keep us and ours from getting blown out of the sky.

We're feeling so much is beyond us--the economy, jobs, debt.  Then there is so much new research that says if I'm overweight, it's because I'm stressed and I can't get ahead because of my genes.

In our heart of hearts we know that transformation isn't beyond us--it's just hard. 

Transformation is the ongoing process of climbing a steep mountain.  In fact the most difficult job is not keeping a job or raising children.  The most difficult job you'll ever have is managing yourself and how you'll grow and change. 

Here are some realities of personal transformation.

You Have to Decide to Beat Your Own Genes.

Scientific discovery shows us that so much of what we do, say, and think is in large part determined by our genetic code.  It is a powerful force against personal change.

Especially during the holiday season when we get together with our families we realize why they irritate us so much.  We're so tied to them genetically.  We look like them, talk like them, often say the same irritating things in the same way.

But people have and can beat their own genetic limitations.  It occurred to me several years ago that if our history does include evolving, one of our ancestors said, "You know, this living in trees is really limiting.  There's a cave near by that's a beaut!"   A few years later it was housing in the suburbs and city traffic.

We work with a young lady who was abused as a child who is raising a great family.  Carol asked her one day, "How did you get to be such a great Mom?"  Our mentee quickly explained, "Well you know, I just think about what my parents would  have done and I do the opposite. 

Genes are powerful.  Twins separated at birth often wear the same clothes and smoke the same cigarette.  The genes direct them.  Yet we know many people who break genetic tendencies to achieve what they would have never been able to. 

Kick Your Worst Addictions.  The most serious roadblock to personal transformation is the weight of our own addictions.  They stop personal momentum forward.

An addiction is a compulsive, constantly repeated action that has a negative impact on our lives and at the same time is irresistible--something we must stop and can't. 

First are the serious addictions of alcohol, illegal and prescription drugs, as well as tobacco.   We pass no judgment on the morality of any of these.  We simply say that if you have a serious problem with any of them you won't have the time, energy or money to make serious progress on yourself.

The most serious untreated addiction in America today is food.  Obesity is killing us and the healthcare system.  A MacDonald's, Burger King, or Starbucks can be as serious a threat to many people as a crack house selling drugs. 

I picked up 30 lbs of weights in the gym the other day and I asked myself, "How would it be to carry around these weights all day, everyday?"  My quick response was, "Well that's exactly what I did.  I weighed 20 to 30 lbs more than I should for most of my adult life.  I yo-yo dieted for years, but ten years ago began a diet and exercise program I've followed ever since.   The new habits and lifestyle have taken many years to take effect. 

There are many aids to kicking an addiction.   There are 12-step programs for alcohol, tobacco, food addiction, sex, and smoking.  The principles of the 12-step program are truly transformational and the fellowship is invaluable.  The bottom line on addictions, however, is the guts to make the promise and to keep it.   You'll never experience transformation if you don't get tough. 

Decide what you're going to transform.  Transformation isn't a genie in the bottle kind of a thing.  It is difficult work, more like a remodeling project at your house that includes everything from choosing the colors to scraping the layers of paint.   Most of the work is done one room at a time.  That's true with personal transformation. 

The areas that beg for personal transformation are diet, exercise, addiction cessation, educational, interpersonal, professional competence, and moral and spiritual development.

Begin with where you feel the pain and have the most to gain.  Several years ago Carol and I did the three-month Body for Life weight and diet program, by Bill  Phillips.  Everyone still argues whether it works or not, and it does.  It is hard to remember now how hard it was.  But we did find that three months was a beginning.  We're still making progress now.

But remember you can't even think about working at several areas.  One transformation is roughly like an 18 hole round of golf where you make holes in one on at least half the holes.  Concentrate and focus on one area. 

Do it even if it hurts.  No doubt we often make things harder than they should be, but approaches to personal transformation that claim to be crash courses in making the difficult simple most often end with "Have your credit card handy!  Operators are standing by now!"

My advice almost always is, "If what you're doing hurts--whether it's staying up late studying for an MBA or helping your child learn algebra--it's probably because it's working.

I often have people who approach me and say, "You lift a lot of weights, don't you?"  

I ultimately lost 37 lbs. on our fitness program, but I never know how to react to this question.   I usually clumsily respond, "Yes, I do."  Their response often is, "Gee, I wish I had enough time to work out."

I don't say it out loud, but I always think, "Few people have time to exercise, but everyone has the time to management a life-threatening disease caused by a neglected body."

Feel the victory.  Going through life desperately wishing you'd change and knowing you're not  going to do that is one of the most difficult gigs in the world. 

One of the greatest experiences you'll ever have is for someone to say, "You know, I hardly recognized you.  You're so different."  A comment I get that I love/hate is, "You're the last person in the world I would have expected to achieved that."

No thanks for the confidence, but feel the victory.